Many of us make resolutions for the New Year. Our suggestions for 2011 included these ten legal tips:
1. Check your credit report. It’s one of the most important things you can do to protect yourself from problems ranging from identity theft to a spouse racking up credit card bills of which you’re unaware. Read the report to find out which accounts you’re listed on as obligor. Contact each creditor and ensure you are the only authorized user on the account.
2. Figure out your monetary needs. If you are considering separation or divorce, or if you’re already in the midst of one, sit down and figure out what you’ll need to live on, and how much you’ll need to have a decent life. Your lawyer can only give you an idea of how much spousal support you might receive in settlement negotiations or a hearing. It’s up to you to determine how much you need.
3. Keep a journal, notebook, or calendar of important events so you don’t forget them. Details get fuzzy with time. Dates of missed visitation, the number of times you had to call your child before you got a return call, whether you (or the other parent) was significantly tardy for a visitation exchange – all are details you might want to record for future use.
4. Use common sense when it comes to paperwork: Keep a binder or other clear record of financial and legal papers, such as closing documents for the sale or purchase of a home, retirement earnings statements, receipts for support paid, and court orders. And always read any document before you sign it!
5. Don’t procrastinate! If you think you’ll need spousal or child support, or if you’d like to modify it, file earlier rather than later. Support cannot be awarded retroactively in Virginia, so talk to a lawyer about getting that paperwork started.
6. Stop stalking or engaging in any behavior that appears obsessive-compulsive. Don’t call, text, or email more than a reasonable number of times in any one day or week. If you’re not sure what’s reasonable, ask your lawyer! If you call to speak to your children and no one answers the phone, leave a cordial message. Then put the phone down or walk away from the computer.
7. If you have a mental health issue, take care of it. Diabetics are expected to take care of their insulin levels to maintain good physical health. The fear of mental illness being used against you is unfounded compared to the consequences faced by a parent who refuses to address his or her mental health needs.
8. Tie up loose ends. After a divorce or writing a will, make sure you follow up on getting your affairs in order. You have a limited time to do things like apply for COBRA benefits or make a survivor benefit election. Change your retirement and life insurance beneficiary designations. If you’re supposed to close out accounts, remove your name from accounts, or refinance property (real or personal), take care of it before it becomes a problem.
9. Have a will, power of attorney, and advanced medical directive prepared by a lawyer. One of the kindest things you can do for your loved ones is to take care of this paperwork before you die or before you no longer possess the mental faculties to make your own decisions. A simple power of attorney can save a spouse or other loved one the legal headache and expense of seeking to become your guardian or conservator if something happens to you.
10. Follow the Golden Rule. Don’t badmouth your ex or estranged partner, especially in front of the kids. Children count on their parents to teach them how to live with dignity, honor, and respect. Courts reward generosity of spirit. You’ll be helping yourself and your children if you can remember to treat others the way you wish to be treated.
If you’d like to discuss any of these tips with one of the family law or estate planning attorneys at Aoun & Stanford, P.C., please contact us at (703) 273-2670 or contact@aounstanford.com.
Sonja Aoun
